Once upon a time on a night like this
We followed Dave around and we did “stupid shit”
It was Dave and the Anarchy Car and all the rest.

This is THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD ShiT
Anonymous Andritz asks we politely cease and decist

Benches of wood
Cafeteria, Ms. Holland
Sticking up again for the same glam nerd songs
Silver grains in the dark, the night burns on

Vis-comm, Eh Channel
Routers, no females
Photoshop, Gmail
Crushing on the nerd tail,
If only my songs weren’t so dumb.

This is THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT

McNally, (W.P.) Wagner
Salty fat sophmore
Sean Cowan, light bar
Hazeldean, no car
"General $crap" was the writing on the wall

I don’t wanna go home to a darkroom with no film

100 burnt discs, tune guitars
Pizza box, God punk
Fire code, Flirt stock
Larsen crew, Bonnie Hogg
ADD kid selling grams of dill

Sebastien Guy Savard, James Johnson, Mark Czajkowski, “Cracker Dave”

This is "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT"
We didn’t smoke dill or do illegal substances, but
We mighta frac’d your mom, she was begging for it
Your dad's truck size it’s over-rated a little bit

Didn’t take long for the ice to break
When the bully went down it was much too great.
That vigilante's insane, he’s got some paint.

Dave was Jack Chick and sled flat black
Sliding all around, Nadine in the back
Those nights are frozen sun for his dark days.

That was way too smart for "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT"
I’ll probably have to dumb it down for you a little bit.

Nathan got ripped on a B-comm ‘puter
Batmobile with root kit users
To administrate with their lead pipes

I think it was a Thursday
Chad was so thirsty,
Batmobile, CB
Max capacity
Driving up and down 118th (Alberta) Ave.

This is "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT"
I can say dumb things that are inappropriate
It’s not that I’m a jerk, I’m just incompetent
Those are pretty big big words for "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT"
YEA! X 3

Shauna’s on late night
Fried chicken grease fight
Cori (Harsh/Wilson) drum, stage fright
A.T.S. land flight
Flagging YEG, minimum wage

Scratch and sniff med school
Alcohol / dill rules
Unmarked van tool
Gordon and the Mac crew
Hippie anarcho nerd punk rock stew

This is "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT"
We cut it in half for extra value.

Star, car, AWOL, barb wire fence
Dave lead solder, e-guitar jacks
Testing out the fix, ADAT hit record
Footnotes, Disappear, Wavelab 3.0
Analog/digital, digital/analog,
Analog/digital conversions make Dave mad…

This is "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD ShiT"
Bitsum catching FLAC just a little bit.

Party got shut down
Photographs underground
Victor (Leanne Porter) is bouncing on
Top of Dave’s new sound
Her perk sure could work
A turk like that.

Roy’s parent’s basement, cracker-ass maggots
Writing off bumpers, clutching our pay cheques
Tech support, hot dogs and local beer.

The All Purpose Voltage Heroes, thong, spaghetti straps and dill.

The $240 Pawn Bass
(Base)-ment sound proof paste
Garage sale bass amp
In law, oil pump
Torquing Jamie’s nuts to 50 foot pounds

Star shows up with the knob right off
Dave fucked up, Jamie’s wheel got tossed
So much for that KOCH free brake job.

This is "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT"
We don’t respect your beliefs or new immigrants
Even though our great-grandparents were immigrants
We don’t rhyme words we’re whip crackin’ intolerant pricks.

With Scott on hiatus, Dave was their bassist.
No stage presence, his jokes a bit racist
Blue tweed collar shirt and no-one knows.
The Fox and the Hound, had a stage in the round (they didn't)
Ashley (Munro Butler), Erin, Shauna (Turner), Kristin (Eek), Nikki (Fast), Talia Davies
We had 6 awesome fans!

The song is way too long
To be a real Chick Maggot song
Roy’s gonna flip his lid
But I’ll give him writing credit
Not that he’ll want it
I’ll force it down his throat
Like a government yoke… or…
*COUGH* Awwwww frac

Better split the song right here...

(song track changes)