I don't even care, so I got a F*ckin' candy in my mouth for this song. I frac’d a lot less people that I’ll ever admit To you and God I’m untainted. My name is EMM SEE DAVID, got no previous rap sheet This Nerdcore’s the word on the street, Yo! I got a "happy ending" that I’m gonna proposition To all members of human creation, It’s a quick solution, to all of our vexations “The Honesty Song”, it’s my own libation. FINGERS IN YOUR EARS, I CAN HEAR YOU THINK This is "The Honesty Song" Most men are short tempered, arrogant jerks They can't admit when they're wrong... or can say the w___...... They can't speak either. I need some water. No, no water for you, just candy. I'm not even going to edit that out, 'coz this is the... Honesty Song. (Is that what it's called?) YEA! Most men are short tempered, arrogant and strong But can’t admit when they’ve done something wrong Most are also fairly mediocre swain On the perception of the throne of a train Peeing in a drainage grate, drunk in a concert lineup One particular human female lost a few brain cells We’re seemingly willful ignorant, wisdom tooth’d apes Waiting our lives through to squeeze a few grapes. Girls don’t want panacea They want onomatopoeia, If a mate wants more than just to frac her Then sit that stallion down and let that queef air This is “The Honesty Song”. CHORUS Dude wears sunglasses when he’s indoors So girls can’t stare at his boobs – Hu... ...man, she’s not actually looking at your ass More concerned about the state of your genes (jeans?) Yo, she really does care, though How much money you make, bro' Mostly she don’t wanna float ya’ Paranoid about our deflating life raft called healthcare, or C.P.P. will last either Sports are not an interest most nerds like to be front’n Unless you’re Dr. Micheal O’Hea. Hockey is like baseball, but without the Valium So sorry in advance, this next one’s for me. Nerd kids research dates and make superior mates So what if they can’t swing a bat? If you don’t believe me, the first home run’s free Eyelash nerd hot dog tickets tonight CHORUS Money, kids, respect, and an autobiography These are the motives that drive most. If you don’t believe me, try reading some history God help you if you’re south of the coast. Satisfaction is indeed guaranteed or Your legal tenders won’t be refunded. We’re just a small club with one cent admissions You’ll find we’re worth every penny. There’s lots penny jokes on this digital CD Cause the Bank of Canada took them back this year Much like the US Gold Act in 1933 Combating deflationary cheer… If you wanna unload your grace on her face I suggest you do not use copper It’s the new Gold Standard we’re hoping for next year To frac the bank in the (r)ear ===== I got too many lyrics to fit in this song So, rather than make this one 20 minutes long There’s gonna be some sequels I’ll tease you some previews: Office sex, banks, and poly-amorous technical flanks Hopefully there’ll be some more music videos Let’s lobby Jamie Star back for a day I figure Saturday (Delson Sazaran)’s booked, so I’ll castle myself a rook Checkin’ like Sebastien (Guy) Savard I don’t care if you like it, just share me with your Facebook friends It’s all about the e-Cred So share me like a re-tread, Or, some would say “like an Arts and Cultural Manager toss.” Occupy Edmonton was not lost. We wouldn’t say no to unsolicited donations Dave Laing sure could use some "dill" For every 100 shares, I’ll smack him in the face And shoot up more un-processed food. This was "The Honesty Song"

I bet you wanna… do “The Duck”... It’s a good duck... You'll really like “The Duck”... So do the frac’n “Duck”! Marketing is kinda like frac’n your ex girlfriend It’s really fun at first, but you feel guilty after. Quote, Quorum, Queer bait, Quonset, and Queef The marketing song, sure to get you on your feet. Do the Duck. (QUACK QUACK QUACK) Do the Duck (QUACK QUACK) I said “DO THE DUCK!” (QUACK) Please do the mother frac’n duck! (QUACK QUACK QUACK) Exploit conflicts of interest for personal gain Shelter liabilities that can never be contained Marketing is under-rate biz, fo’ sho' Never feel the same, you catch my flo’? (What's going on man, your raps are so tight... Blaze the path / Take me down) Quote – Over-promise and under-deliver Quorum – Too many people on the board Queer Bait – Offend as many as possible Quonset – Shotgun fly Queef – Rinse and repeat. Never be accountable for sleazy adverteasing Spread lips, drink up, All you cave men freezing Digress, ingest, vomitus poo Haven’t got a clue how to tie a shoe Scapegoat murder, let’s everyone do "The Duck" Do the “The Duck.” Do The Duck. I said “DO THE DUCK!” Do the mother frac’n duck Southgate, plaid shirt, Down on the couch Beer, smoke, fast food Tivo, no doubt I’ll leave it open for your sloppy seconds Grossing out your parents For your interpretections It gets kinda flakey All around town The people try'n to get down People wanna get down wit' ch'a But who knows the math? Quote – (Promotion) Always over promise and under deliver. Jack of all trains winning every sliver If you can get away with it, great, If not, be more vague with the date. Quorum – (Placement) Have too many people on the board Who derail meetings with pointless fords Horizontal scaffolding to weather the storm If you don’t own a cat, you’re gonna get some more. 1, 2, 3, 4. (MEOW) It's not a toy! So do the duck. Do the Duck. I said “DO THE DUCK!” (HISSSSSS) DO the mother frac’n duck! Queer bait (Price): Leave your fly open a just little bit Trolling the ashtrays for fags in the shit If you’re in the EU, ask “might I bum one please?” If you’re in Canada, then Queerbec intercedes. So do the the duck. Do the Duck. I said “DO THE DUCK!” Do the mother frac’n duck! Quonset – (Product): Get a P.O. box so customers don’t Show up in the night and smash all your windows If you can’t sell an accountable brand Put steel mesh over them instead. Queef: Douche to rinse and repeat. CHORUS Let's review: Quote – Over-promise and under-deliver Quorum – Too many people on the board Queer Bait – Offend as many as possible Quonset – Shotgun fly Queef – Rinse and repeat Do the the duck. Yea… the Duck That’s the one, that’s the duck Do the mother frac’n duck. "Q" is my middle name!

Diesel fuel, synthetic penis oil This song’s kinda messed up Like a head-on truck wreck So buckle up people, Put your frac’n phone in the back Drunk drivers and texters You deserve a good smack No more natural selection The economy, it’s wack Reward bad behaviour With a new truck rack There’s dick jokes coming up, So stay tuned, intact. Follow up spaceship dates Usually book her duck Retaliating crack smooths out Stubborn toilet bluff Military intelligence Box set Christian snuff All that makes more sense Than a jacked up truck. Frac Frac Frac, Frac the truck. Diesel fuel - synthetic peanut oil I don’t really know why But I don’t give a hoot About your truck, your TV Or your imported suit. No longer concerned About these vain pursuits Happiness compensation As you aim and shoot. Driving to Calgary with a beer in your hand Radar detecting windshield Antlers on a stand Life looks as empty as your veggie oil tank Dead head back for a single boat plank Frac Frac Frac, Frac the truck. Frac the citizen band (CB) radio With it’s no repeater Our common sense is lacking I’ll hot shot you a bleeder A 45 foot sea can would be a little better The problem is I can’t find a willing receiver Talking to a rock Or a heavy metal grinder Would be a barrel idea Lock, stock, return to sender Mailer daemon subsystem 404 error It’s your willful ignorance Brain dumping in a blender Going 10 over the limit On highway #28 is like Being parked in the fast lane #5 Interstate That’s the one in L.A. For those who don’t know I moved a lot of food From there to Toronto, Yo! Apparently out west we don’t say “eh” we say “hey” Like Nebraska and Kansas and Texas oil grey If California had a fallout they’d have black snow Then It would feel like Alberta does right now No cash on the barrel My job, bad credit Need full insurance For this mortgage too I’m indebted Not too good with calculators Paying 10% over prime Frac’n peoples’ girlfriends and Smoking all the time. Don’t get held back in Grade 5 No child left behind From then till high school No-one really minds The diesel free anyway The oil company’s dime So move that pedal down, and Get out of my time. People in a panic Downloaded T.V. Leave in the commercials They’re preying on me Don’t listen to the lyrics You just wanna shake your ass. Diesel fuel, synthetic penis oil.

Got these lower-middle class Canadian Cracker ass Metham-Edmonton blues Living here in Alberta The 51st state will see us through If we lived down in America Then you know this much would stay true We’d have the loan sharkin’, curb stompin’, Fraud mark hockin' Metham-Edmonton blues CHORUS Metham-Edmonton Blues Metham-Edmonton Blues Got these lower middle class Canadian, cracker ass Metham-Edmonton Blues Don’t know where we're going But I sure know where I am Living in the shitty of scampions With these metham-Edmonton blues My dad went to a provincial office To get his pension cheque But it was all boarded up, they got kicked out ‘Cause they couldn’t afford their rent Doctors were squatting outside With their student loans default Soon they’ll be moving down to the ‘states To back their government Went down to the starfucks But they do-nut serve our type So we’re throwing back dead hockey players The double regular, cracker type 4 white horses in my lap As we leave the old drive through Got a can of pre-ground motivation And a shit job to get to They're fucking up our healthcare Just enough to privatize So all you PC politicians Suck my cracker shtick RV accommodations But this "rock star" gig is spent The neighbors are calling up bylaw 'Cause I told them to get bent Now they want to get me off their road My chimney smoking bright A weight is taken on, as the S.W.A.T. team locks and loads tonight The acreage my daddy gave me It’s a great place to park my blues Freebasing wood-gas firewood, truckin’ in The water, food and shoes Short summer bugs I’m breathing Make the winters cozy tight Got some air conditionin’ With the windows open bright Still have to pay my taxes But at least it’s worth the trip No landlord there behind me now Cracking his cracker whip Some folks don’t want the real life They like their high heel shoes Fashionable consumption The rush hours of sunlight, (there’s two of them) Superficial entertainment Alcohol and sleeping pills Anti-depressant medications cover up Fluorescent oven thrills Been, done, taken all those things They weren’t enough to see us through So here we stand here at the fringe wearing society’s cast off shoes BRIDGE Don’t know where I'm gonna find My next old pair of shoes Maybe down at the goodwill, or The sally-ann, (salvation army) it’s true But Quality built, 10 year old Leather high top, steel toe boots They won’t have been made over-seas Unless they’re Blackspot union too Frac you Value Village and your pretty boy standing shoes As I’m sinking in the muskeg, sporting my cracker ass rubber boots CHORUS By the fire outside last night I heard A rustlin’ in the bush A black bear sat down beside us To warm her paws and tush Got no ammunition Got no rifle too Got no worries to weigh me down No more metham-Edmonton blues Don’t know where we're going But I sure know where we 'aint Living in the shitty of scampions With those metham-Edmonton blues

Once upon a time on a night like this We followed Dave around and we did “stupid shit” It was Dave and the Anarchy Car and all the rest. This is THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD ShiT Anonymous Andritz asks we politely cease and decist Benches of wood Cafeteria, Ms. Holland Sticking up again for the same glam nerd songs Silver grains in the dark, the night burns on Vis-comm, Eh Channel Routers, no females Photoshop, Gmail Crushing on the nerd tail, If only my songs weren’t so dumb. This is THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT McNally, (W.P.) Wagner Salty fat sophmore Sean Cowan, light bar Hazeldean, no car "General $crap" was the writing on the wall I don’t wanna go home to a darkroom with no film 100 burnt discs, tune guitars Pizza box, God punk Fire code, Flirt stock Larsen crew, Bonnie Hogg ADD kid selling grams of dill Sebastien Guy Savard, James Johnson, Mark Czajkowski, “Cracker Dave” This is "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT" We didn’t smoke dill or do illegal substances, but We mighta frac’d your mom, she was begging for it Your dad's truck size it’s over-rated a little bit Didn’t take long for the ice to break When the bully went down it was much too great. That vigilante's insane, he’s got some paint. Dave was Jack Chick and sled flat black Sliding all around, Nadine in the back Those nights are frozen sun for his dark days. That was way too smart for "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT" I’ll probably have to dumb it down for you a little bit. Nathan got ripped on a B-comm ‘puter Batmobile with root kit users To administrate with their lead pipes I think it was a Thursday Chad was so thirsty, Batmobile, CB Max capacity Driving up and down 118th (Alberta) Ave. This is "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT" I can say dumb things that are inappropriate It’s not that I’m a jerk, I’m just incompetent Those are pretty big big words for "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT" YEA! X 3 Shauna’s on late night Fried chicken grease fight Cori (Harsh/Wilson) drum, stage fright A.T.S. land flight Flagging YEG, minimum wage Scratch and sniff med school Alcohol / dill rules Unmarked van tool Gordon and the Mac crew Hippie anarcho nerd punk rock stew This is "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT" We cut it in half for extra value. Star, car, AWOL, barb wire fence Dave lead solder, e-guitar jacks Testing out the fix, ADAT hit record Footnotes, Disappear, Wavelab 3.0 Analog/digital, digital/analog, Analog/digital conversions make Dave mad… This is "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD ShiT" Bitsum catching FLAC just a little bit. Party got shut down Photographs underground Victor (Leanne Porter) is bouncing on Top of Dave’s new sound Her perk sure could work A turk like that. Roy’s parent’s basement, cracker-ass maggots Writing off bumpers, clutching our pay cheques Tech support, hot dogs and local beer. The All Purpose Voltage Heroes, thong, spaghetti straps and dill. The $240 Pawn Bass (Base)-ment sound proof paste Garage sale bass amp In law, oil pump Torquing Jamie’s nuts to 50 foot pounds Star shows up with the knob right off Dave fucked up, Jamie’s wheel got tossed So much for that KOCH free brake job. This is "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT" We don’t respect your beliefs or new immigrants Even though our great-grandparents were immigrants We don’t rhyme words we’re whip crackin’ intolerant pricks. With Scott on hiatus, Dave was their bassist. No stage presence, his jokes a bit racist Blue tweed collar shirt and no-one knows. The Fox and the Hound, had a stage in the round (they didn't) Ashley (Munro Butler), Erin, Shauna (Turner), Kristin (Eek), Nikki (Fast), Talia Davies We had 6 awesome fans! The song is way too long To be a real Chick Maggot song Roy’s gonna flip his lid But I’ll give him writing credit Not that he’ll want it I’ll force it down his throat Like a government yoke… or… *COUGH* Awwwww frac Better split the song right here... (song track changes)

(song track changes) ...It's way too frac'ing long. This is "THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD ShiT" (Part 2) 10 verses now, (Roy) Sassano’s gonna be pissed His sacred cow, I just castrated it Sounds like Left Nutt, they were Edmonton pricks. Freezing their ass at the hockey practice, Ashley (Munro Butler) and Erin, still Roy’s biggest fans. Drown in the yard, with our hopes and dreams Dave came home in the middle of the night With his semi out back, so loud and so bright Roy is driving it, white knuckles tight I don’t wanna go home to a lake that doesn’t swim Dating Leanne, with a Winnipeg pay stub Lessons learned hard, ‘cause a storm was brewing up Fired from semi home, 12 car rack Aborted Dave’s kid before, behind his back Jackie and Laura, Nikki, Nate, 2 doors George and Bud and Kinicker sharing the floor This is THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT Dave’s got some issues with wheel commitment If you don’t like it, you can’t suck his dick That’s a metaphorical 3rd person double negative Drive thru mickey pills Straightedge emo thrills Letter he’ll never send Strat (thcona county cell) tower, pillows Super-dork puked on himself and went home. ICQ, Indecline Dot net, Roy, FoxECatFluff, Sean the Bastard, Backtrax, Fart Filling up an online shooping cart Then Spinternet, Vanity, they moved away Edmonton Metal Scene ….band photography Myspace Tom, my “Top 8” best cream. Rollin’, Poundin’ Records, up, my nerdcore hip- hop heart Casanova radio, play-toy farm, Import character, attitude storm ‘55 light kit, vacuum tube flash Jonathan Fluvog, wa(n?)kin’ off set Plethorah pop flat, losing a bet I love you when I say “the odds in debt” BRIDGE REPEAT The song is way too long To be a real Chick Maggot song Roy’s gonna flip his lid But I’ll give him writing credit Not that he wants it I’ll force it down his throat Like a government yoke & a pipeline blowing smoke This was THE BALLOD Of tHE StoopiD SHiT I don’t really care, but I hope you like it, Roy No more mask for me, I’m a capitalist prick Go download my free discography, or I’ll cut off your dicks Or genitally mutilate you like an African Just like that witch Lorenna Bobbit did. (what a whore!) Jamie Star: Dave!!!! We’re Done!!! Scott Dave: What??? Shutup! OH.

"What's goin' on?" We got a drunk Ralph Klein In his big oil stilettos Flipping off the masses, now He’s running down the homeless Checking out the view From his Swan Hills barrel Couldn’t find magnesium So pull another handle (VLT) Busting on the nurses As they strike, another dime I really hope that mental picture Fades with time. She can’t get no environmental action It's just another fact of life For me, really. Materfamilias, she’s Alberta's natural sexy beauty She’s a casual nudist and performs lots of duties. Her and what army, she was paralyzed with fright Got a thirsty pimp boyfriend, always itching for a fight Sitting round the table with his allies, doing shards (cheap energy) Stacking empty cases of beer and credit cards (Chorus) Swing your corner and bow to your partner (Big oil stilettos) Swing your corner and bow to your partner (Running down the homeless) Cut the diamond (Swan Hills Barrel) Cut the diamond (Pull another handle) AC/Ducey AC/2Y Bullying the neighbors IMF bylaws in his hand He’s pissing in the cistern Defecating on the land When it’s gets too messy Well, we’ll annex another yard He’s eating all the donuts and He’s getting kinda hard Watching her bend over Scrubbing oil off his car It’s the newest V8 model With a tar sand star. (Chorus) No he Di'int! She’s sweating in the sun Dragging his new extension chord She bought it for her boyfriend She’s still a little sore It’s a 4# (ought) cable That’s a really big kind For a Fort Mac U.S.B. charger That we use, sometimes. “I got you pine beetle shoes, Baby put em on your feet”... “And don’t forget the Torie circle jerk, Hey, that’s tonight." “If my friends want to have you, Don’t you dare say no” It’s a controversial topic watching engine gaskets blow It’s really kinda sexy In that environmental way Intended for a metaphor For those who like to say, The willful ignorance You were taught up till this day; If you haven’t got it yet Get a Canadian teacher, "Eh." (Chorus) She can’t get no environmental action The environment The Tories’ same sexy mistress Heating US kitchens up For credits or emissions Sitting by the campfire She’s waiting there with a beer It just might be the poison That the drugs don’t fear. He says, “A little liposuction And a boob job just might Make you worth your weight in silicone that is, if we go tonight” “Sure thing baby, but there’s really no rush” “So have another beer and I’ll pack the pennies up” Just to make sure, she brought his credit card boxes She couldn’t fit 'em in the car, so she just had to compact them As he got into the drivers seat, she said, “Honey, I’ll drive” “Besides”, you’ve probably got a lot on your mind” (Chorus) The car still fairly empty, he said ”Are you sure we have enough? “They might want gold, but I kinda used it up. “Did you bring the legal tender that we cut out from the muck?" She said, “Don’t worry dear, we won’t get stuck.” From the glove box, he swore “this is my last cigarette!“ The tailing pond approaching, she said “A little further yet.” He took one drag, then his smoke hit the floor She could smell burning plastic, but he smiled no more She Stopped atop the bridge, seatbelt kicked his drunk ass out the door She brought his 0.45 magnum, cause she needed to be sure With each shot blaring, he moved a little farther still After the big splash, she drove the car back up the hill. (Chorus) She flicked his smoke out the window, starting Satan’s inferno “That’ll warn the ducks,” she thought, turned the keys off, and got out She watched the car in neutral, suck itself into the burning pond Tapped her heels three times, and disappeared, just like Dorthy of Oz. You know those “no firewood” signs on the highway by the border? Those are the pine beetle shoes she was wearing that October. So remember this, folks, Mother Nature, she’s packing Simply good karma that our countries are lacking Treat her like your mother, and I mean with respect Ask her what she needs, to stay in good health. Take only what you need, leave the rest standing We shouldn’t need to hide behind the tar sands pretending.

Cupcakes make me feel so good slide over a tongue’n the hood 
Cupcakes we misunderstood Driving down Whyte face-ave tonight had to slide in for another sight staying late, apron on tight Spreading out our favorite type Icing snatcharoos shining bright Sexy cups, now everyone can have a bite Cupcakes make us feel so good Depends on how you look at the sound Cupcakes we misunderstand No bun in the oven, Drooling on the bed California dreaming, but skating instead Godess, Canada, Premium Pie Creepy jokers like me, flirting with the cashier Married to her favorite stash there But that won’t stop us from reaching through this glass Cupcakes make us feel so good slide over tongue’n the hood 
Cupcakes we misunderstood

We like ours right, worth working for
hot, slow and right to order Bra strap falling over her shoulder Can she begin to bear that massive load Daytime staff, now she’s getting bright eyed
Taking the time just to get it right Temperature’s rising up for a, another round When it comes down to sweet pleasures and sounds Don’t settle for bigger low quality brands No cookie cutter mainstream, cardboard here Cupcakes make me feel so good Once upon a time, my only friend Depends on how you look at the sound Cupcakes we misunderstand 
 These quality goods, way out of my league Religion over-rated, just like our greed Some memories they aren’t worth fighting for ****** ******** still capable of murder, 365 Challenge, Jr. High order, Pictures of all the dorks I liked to call my friends
 Back when kids used a pen to be heard Notes to one another, drawing out the awkward Cramming our thoughts onto looseleaf paper, Confessions build up, no backspace eraser, Couriers are crowds walking through the halls 
Folded up neatly with a little bit more thought to it all 
Elastic bands are wrapped around The memories (I’ve got/of god) in a trunk in the ground Not collecting dust though, I don’t wanna throw them away Means to an end to pass the time we say Awkard teen, politics, and stranger things to pray Save them up for another rainy day
 Trying to fit in society’s man-box Failing with honours, can’t seem to figure out Brain blocking out memories, good with the bad Squirrels are getting into the trunk Eating up the notes, fading photos & punk Build another shed to lock them out I need to remember What it’s all about Cupcakes makes us feel so good Slide over my tongue’n the hood Depends on how you look at the sound Cupcakes there’s no truer friend Cupcakes we misunderstand