"What's goin' on?"

We got a drunk Ralph Klein
In his big oil stilettos
Flipping off the masses, now
He’s running down the homeless
Checking out the view
From his Swan Hills barrel
Couldn’t find magnesium
So pull another handle (VLT)
Busting on the nurses
As they strike, another dime
I really hope that mental picture
Fades with time.

She can’t get no environmental action
It's just another fact of life
For me, really.

Materfamilias, she’s Alberta's natural sexy beauty
She’s a casual nudist and performs lots of duties.
Her and what army, she was paralyzed with fright
Got a thirsty pimp boyfriend, always itching for a fight
Sitting round the table with his allies, doing shards (cheap energy)
Stacking empty cases of beer and credit cards

(Chorus)

Swing your corner and bow to your partner
(Big oil stilettos)
Swing your corner and bow to your partner
(Running down the homeless)
Cut the diamond
(Swan Hills Barrel)
Cut the diamond
(Pull another handle)
AC/Ducey
AC/2Y

Bullying the neighbors
IMF bylaws in his hand
He’s pissing in the cistern
Defecating on the land
When it’s gets too messy
Well, we’ll annex another yard
He’s eating all the donuts and
He’s getting kinda hard
Watching her bend over
Scrubbing oil off his car
It’s the newest V8 model
With a tar sand star.

(Chorus)
No he Di'int!

She’s sweating in the sun
Dragging his new extension chord
She bought it for her boyfriend
She’s still a little sore
It’s a 4# (ought) cable
That’s a really big kind
For a Fort Mac U.S.B. charger
That we use, sometimes.
“I got you pine beetle shoes,
Baby put em on your feet”...
“And don’t forget the Torie circle jerk,
Hey, that’s tonight."

“If my friends want to have you,
Don’t you dare say no”
It’s a controversial topic
watching engine gaskets blow
It’s really kinda sexy
In that environmental way
Intended for a metaphor
For those who like to say,
The willful ignorance
You were taught up till this day;
If you haven’t got it yet
Get a Canadian teacher, "Eh."

(Chorus)

She can’t get no environmental action

The environment
The Tories’ same sexy mistress
Heating US kitchens up
For credits or emissions
Sitting by the campfire
She’s waiting there with a beer
It just might be the poison
That the drugs don’t fear.
He says, “A little liposuction
And a boob job just might
Make you worth your weight in silicone
that is, if we go tonight”

“Sure thing baby, but there’s really no rush”
“So have another beer and I’ll pack the pennies up”
Just to make sure, she brought his credit card boxes
She couldn’t fit 'em in the car, so she just had to compact them
As he got into the drivers seat, she said, “Honey, I’ll drive”
“Besides”, you’ve probably got a lot on your mind”

(Chorus)

The car still fairly empty, he said ”Are you sure we have enough?
“They might want gold, but I kinda used it up.
“Did you bring the legal tender that we cut out from the muck?"
She said, “Don’t worry dear, we won’t get stuck.”
From the glove box, he swore “this is my last cigarette!“
The tailing pond approaching, she said “A little further yet.”

He took one drag, then his smoke hit the floor
She could smell burning plastic, but he smiled no more
She Stopped atop the bridge, seatbelt
kicked his drunk ass out the door
She brought his 0.45 magnum, cause she needed to be sure
With each shot blaring, he moved a little farther still
After the big splash, she drove the car back up the hill.

(Chorus)

She flicked his smoke out the window, starting Satan’s inferno
“That’ll warn the ducks,” she thought, turned the keys off, and got out
She watched the car in neutral, suck itself into the burning pond
Tapped her heels three times, and disappeared, just like Dorthy of Oz.
You know those “no firewood” signs on the highway by the border?
Those are the pine beetle shoes she was wearing that October.

So remember this, folks, Mother Nature, she’s packing
Simply good karma that our countries are lacking
Treat her like your mother, and I mean with respect
Ask her what she needs, to stay in good health.
Take only what you need, leave the rest standing
We shouldn’t need to hide behind the tar sands pretending.